The Truth About Dawn
by Twiggahla
Summary: Starts off with early season 6. Spike rescues Dawn, but 8 years later, she doesn't know what to think anymore. Chapter 4 now up! Feedback appreciated. Not for compliments, but to make sure people are reading!
1. Chapter 1

It was late enough in the evening for the grass to become dewy, making Dawn's back soaking wet. She desperately ignored her date, Derek, thrusting on top of her. She began to count the seconds until it was over. The only thing visible to her was the stars, twinkling, as if they laughing and pointing at her. Derek was Gretchen's boyfriend. Gretchen and Dawn had been friends since the 3rd grade (or at least Dawn's memories of 3rd grade.) During sunset some months ago, Dawn was walking her way back home from Gretchen's when Derek offered to walk with her. When they were halfway there, Derek grabbed Dawn and threw her into some nearby woods. He raped her and told her if she ever told anyone, Derek would just say she was lying. If Dawn didn't do what he said, he would tell Gretchen that she came on to him. Given the situation that Dawn was in at home, she wasn't in any position to be accused of lying. Plus, she wanted to keep her friend. This was what it was like for Dawn ever since.

Dawn couldn't tell anyone what was going on. Buffy would end up killing the bastard, making things a hell of a lot more complicated then they had to be. Xander would do the same. Willow and Tara would just go and tell Buffy, or the police. Dawn didn't want anyone to know because she knew she would lose her friendship with Gretchen. If there was anything Dawn needed more then anything right now, it was her best friend.

Dawn and Derek always met in the same spot. It was the same wooded area halfway from Dawn's house. But tonight was different. When they met up, there was some sort of campout/celebration church thing. Dawn started to walk back home, but Derek grabbed her arm and led her to one of the cemeteries. By the time they got there, the sun had already gone down.

"I don't think we should do this now," Dawn's voice was shaky. She knew something was going to happen. Derek didn't say anything to her. Instead, he threw her against the wall of a mausoleum. Dawn's head hit it hard. She cried out in pain and Derek started laughing. He grabbed Dawn's face and brought his in closer.

"We're going to do whatever I feel like doing." He slapped her and then he kissed her—hard. Derek threw Dawn on the ground and then sat on top of her. He began kissing all over her face and then her neck. Dawn tried pushing him off.

"Derek, I really just want to go home right now. Please!" Derek punched her in the chest.

"Shut up, you whore!" Derek lifted up her skirt, yanked down his pants, and began the monotonous process that Dawn had become so used to. Tears started rolling down her cheeks and started counting the seconds. _4 one thousand, 5 one thousand, 6 one thousand, 7 one thou_—

Before Dawn could finish (and Derek) a black blur knocked Derek of her. Dawn shot up to her feet and was about ready to run for fear of a vampire when she stopped herself. Derek was getting punched. Then kicked. A man in a black jacket—Spike! Another minute went by of Spike beating the life out of Derek before he realized that Dawn was running away. Spike stopped, but gave a good kick in the head to Derek to make sure he wouldn't be running away. Spike took off after Dawn. Before she could get out of the cemetery, Spike caught up with her and grabbed her by the waist to make her stop. They both just stood there, not saying a word to each other, not facing each other. Dawn didn't feel like she could ever face Spike again. _Now he knows about Derek and me. He actually saw me having sex with_—

"Bit," Spike said gently, interrupting her thoughts.

"What Spike?" Spike could tell from Dawn's voice that she was crying. Spike slowly turned her around. Dawn's face was wet with tears. Her lip was bleeding from when Derek slapped her. Spike wanted to taste her lip. He reluctantly stopped himself and wiped with his finger instead. Spike couldn't think of anything to say to her except,

"Who the bleedin hell was that prick?"

"He…He's Gretchen's boyfriend."

"Your best friend Gretchen?" Spike didn't know why that mattered, but he asked anyway. Dawn just nodded her head. Spike looked down at the ground for a moment and looked back at Dawn. He pulled her into his chest and hugged her. Dawn didn't say anything or even make a sound. Finally, a little voice said,

"I feel like an idiot, Spike."

"Why do you feel that way?"

"I just never wanted anyone to see because if they knew what was happening, they would--" Spike gently pushed Dawn back.

"Whoa, this has happened before?" Dawn started staring at her feet. She couldn't bring herself to admit it. Spike twitched his jaw. _I'm going to fuckin kill this guy and then I'm going to fuckin kill Buffy for not even paying attention to what the fuck is going on and then I'm_—

"Spike," Spike was in deep thought about what he was going to do and Dawn knew what he was thinking, "Spike, please…don't tell Buffy. Don't tell anyone. I don't think I would ever be able to face anyone if they knew about me. I'd prefer for them to think I was a little brat then a victim, you know?" Spike nodded. He agreed with the little bit. He knew it would make things worse for everyone.

"Your secret dies with me, lil bit." A moment later, they heard moaning. The two looked over to see Derek trying to drag himself away. Dawn looked back at Spike.

"What're you going to do him?" In all honesty, Dawn didn't want to know.

"Bit," Spike stroked Dawn's hair, "I want you to wait in my crypt. I'll be back with in a little while." Dawn nodded and went her way in. Spike walked on over to Derek. Derek noticed a shadow hovering over him. The last thing Derek ever saw was Spike going into game face and then the lights went out.

After 15 minutes or so, Spike entered his crypt. He was massaging his temples, like he had a migraine—or like his chip had gone off. Dawn was sitting on his couch with a look of concern.

"Spike, you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine, pet. My pain is nowhere near the kind that you're feeling now." Dawn stood up.

"Spike, I'm sorry I made you—"

"It's find, luv. Don't worry your pretty little head about it," Spike lit up a cigarette, "C'mon, then. Let me walk you home before big sis gets worried about you." As much as Dawn didn't want to leave, she nodded her head and followed Spike out the door.

When the duo reached the Summer's house, Dawn walked to her door. Spike stayed on the sidewalk. Dawn turned around.

"Aren't you coming?" Spike smiled lightly.

"Afraid not. It's a better view over here." Dawn kept walking, but stopped, and then ran to Spike and put her arms around him.

"I love you, Spike." Spike smiled and rolled his eyes.

"I love you too, Bit." After a minute, Dawn finally let go and ran into her house, not looking back. Spike lit another cigarette and made his way to the liquor store. He was going to need it tonight.

When Dawn walked into the house, Buffy was standing next to the staircase. Willow and Tara were on the floor facing the coffee table, Xander and Anya were on the couch with the game of Life in front of them.

"Where have you been tonight, little girl?" Buffy had her serious tone. Dawn didn't take it too seriously anymore.

"I was out."

"With who?" Buffy had crossed her arms, trying to make herself more authority-like.

"A-a friend."

"That friend wouldn't have the name Spike, now would it?" Dawn crossed her arms, mocking her older sister.

"Maybe."

"Dawn, just because you have a crush on a guy doesn't give you the right to stay out all night!"

"I wasn't out all night! And even if I was, Spike would have protected me!"

"Dawn, I don't want you hanging out with him, he's just—"

"You just don't get anything, do you?" And with that, Dawn stormed up into her room and slammed the door shut. Buffy dropped her arms and sighed.

"Buffy, is everything going to be okay?" Willow was so concerned about the Summers sisters lately. Everything was always off with them.

"Yeah. She just has a case of the butterflies for Captain Peroxide. She'll get over it." In the distance, the scoobies could hear sirens. Finally, they saw cop cars and an ambulance fly down the street. Xander looked over to Buffy.

"Think we should go check it out, Buff?"

"Mmm, sure. I'll go. I need to have a little discussion with Spike about the Dawn sitch anyway," Buffy grabbed her coat, " I'll catch you guys later."

_This is my first Buffy fanfic. I've been obsessed with Spike and Dawn lately. Yeah, I'm weird. Leave feedback if you want. Be gentle. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Back for popular demand! I originally wanted it to be just a short story, but you guys convinced me. I guess you could think of it as a prologue or something. This will be the first chapter. It's a little slow, but all first chapters are. This is set 8 years after the last episode.I hope you enjoy._

Dawn never imagined this was how her life was going to turn out at the age of 25. Dropping out of high school seemed like a good idea at the time, but Dawn wished she wouldn't have been so stupid. But at the time, she felt the need to take some time off and find herself. Dawn had traveled the world. She had been to The Sahara, The Philippines, Hong Kong, Sydney…everywhere. When the time came around, she just never bothered to register back into classes. Buffy was off doing her own thing, so she never had an authority figure to stop her. Dawn decided to move to New York, where she didn't have to be around the scoobies anymore. That was 7 years ago. The last time she heard, the rest of the gang were living in LA. But the last time Dawn had talked to anyone in the gang was a year and a half ago and it was a 30 minute conversation with Willow about how reckless Buffy was being.

Dawn was struggling with working two part-time jobs: One as an assistant manager at (shudder) McDonald's, and the other as a bartender at the local night club, The Blue Room. She rarely had anytime to herself. She worked both jobs everyday and it was terribly exhausting. This was the only way Dawn could get by with such a great apartment.

There was full moon in the sky. The graveyard was spookier then usual. Spike was in his game face and punching the hell out of Derek. Dawn was standing against a mausoleum, just staring at the two. Spike had bitten Derek and he had suddenly disappeared. Dawn was relieved…until Spike walked up to her, still in his game face. Spike grabbed Dawn and threw her on the ground. Dawn started screaming, but no one could hear her. "It's my turn, pet," he whispers to her. Then Dawn woke up.

The alarm went off. 6am. Dawn had a half an hour to get ready for work, then another half an hour to walk to Mickey D's. She could barely reach for her alarm clock, she was so tired.

"_How am I supposed work a double-shift when I can't even sit up? Okay, 10 more minutes, and then I'll get up." _Dawn closed her eyes, not really caring if she woke up on time or not. About two hours later, Dawn got a phone call from her work. She shot out of bed, threw her work clothes on, and ran out of her apartment building. Dawn was speed-walking through the huge crowd. Not paying attention, she bumped into a middle-aged woman, knocking her over.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry!" Dawn helped the poor woman off of the sidewalk.

"That's alright, honey." When the woman stood up, she reached into her pocket and pulled out some change, "Here you go. Find something to eat." The woman just smiled and kept her hand out. Dawn gave her a confused look.

"I don't understand…" Dawn had no idea what this woman was trying to do. The woman looked her up and down.

"Oh, Gosh! I didn't realize that you weren't…" The woman put her change back in her pocket. _Did she think I was homeless?_ Dawn didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, honey." And with that, the woman walked away, blending in with the rest of the crowd. Dawn just stood there with her mouth open. _Why would she think I was…_ Dawn walked over to a display window and looked at her reflection. _My God, I DO look homeless! _Dawn had dark purple bags under her eyes, extremely pale face, her hair was ratted, and she looked too thin. She looked like a homeless heroin addict! She sighed. _I'm pathetic. _

4 hours later, Dawn was a screaming wreck. Nobody was doing their job the way they were supposed to, she caught someone stealing from the cash register, and it was their busiest moment of the day. When she finally got a break, Dawn sat at one of the back tables of the restaurant with a large soda and a small fry. She leant her head against a window and closed her eyes. A few minutes later, the manager came over and sat across from her. Dawn didn't even notice.

"Ahem. Dawn?" Dawn immediately sat up.

"What? What's wrong?" Dawn was depressing her manager. Dawn's eyes were squinty and bloodshot. Her manager sighed.

"Dawn…Has there been something going on in your life that you want to talk about?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, I just…you're distraught and exhausted. I've been thinking about it, and I've decided you need some time off." Dawn started shaking her head.

"No. I can't afford that. Please, I just need a little sleep is all."

"Dawn, you've been coming in late to work, you keep forgetting to do your chores. Look, you're a good worker. You just need some time off is all. Come back in a couple of weeks, huh?"

"No. I'll be better. I promise, please don't do this."

5 minutes later, Dawn was walking back to her apartment. She stunk of body odor and French fries. _I guess I can wait a month or two to pay the rent. _As she walked, she started thinking about how easy it was when she was a kid. Her mom was always at home waiting for to come home from school. She'd make her a snack and help her with her homework. Even after her mom died, Buffy and her friends were there to help in every way they could. They would do anything to protect her, even from guys. Then Dawn started thinking about how Spike protected her most of all. How much he cared about her. Neither of them let on to the rest of the group how much they really cared about each other. Dawn had fallen in love with Spike ever since that night he saved her from that creep, Derek. At least Dawn thought she was in love with Spike—up until he tried to rape Buffy. Then she was just confused for a really long time. She started to believe that no matter how good of a guy seems, maybe deep down, all of them are like that. She had a couple of flings, but she always broke it off before they could. Then she tried some relationships with women. Yeah, women were nice looking and everything, but no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, she could never get excited about having sex with a woman. After the last woman she slept with, she just decided to swear off relationships all together. That was 3 and half years ago. Then Dawn's thoughts started going back to Spike. _I wonder how many women he's slept with. I wonder if he ever slept with any guys. Has he ever tried to rape anyone else?_ Dawn figured what was the point of thinking that? _I hate him. I'm glad he's gone. _Dawn couldn't help feeling a little guilty when she thought that. She convinced herself it was nothing.

Dawn finally realized that she had passed her apartment building 8 blocks ago. She stopped and looked around, in a daze from all of her thoughts. _I hope he's in Hell._ She suddenly started to feel very strange, like that feeling of forgetting something or maybe something bad was happening. She shook it off and walked back home.


	3. Chapter 3

6:30 pm. Dawn had just finished blow drying her hair and was now in the process of putting in blue hair extensions. Her manager at the night club told her she should always be wearing something with blue in it. The night club is, after all, called The Blue Room. Standing in her bathroom in just her bra and panties, she proceeded to add a heavy amount of blue eye liner. After that, she had her back to the mirror. She looked to see how much of her tattoo her hair could cover, just for kicks. When Dawn was still sleeping with guys, one of her flings convinced her to get a tattoo after getting fairly toasted. On the top center of Dawn's back, there was a black and purple outline of a naked fairy with flowing purple hair holding a cross to her chest. At first, Dawn wanted to kill herself for getting it, but now she kind of liked it. It made her feel like she was badass or something. Plus, it really fit with the image she was portraying. "_I'm sexy, but I'll kill you if you think about touching me," _Dawn thought to herself, giggling. Dawn applied a dark red lip gloss and walked to her closet. She was in tough, yet slutty mood, so she picked out a really low cut lacey black tank top and then a pair of her flared hip huggers. She put on her black boots, grabbed her jacket and purse, and left her apartment. She usually walked to The Blue Room, but she still had a weird feeling like maybe something was off. So she took a cab. $22 later, she was there.

There was a huge line waiting outside. Bigger then usual. Dawn always felt so cool walking past the people and going into the club. Like maybe she always had her name on the waiting list. The bulky security guard saw Dawn and waved to her, unclipping the red rope.

"Sup, Dawn?" The security guard had an extremely deep voice and somewhat resembled Ving Rhames.

"How are ya, Bobby?"

"Waiting for you to give me your number." Dawn laughed.

"Maybe next time." Dawn knew for certain that Bobby was kidding, you know, considering the fact he was gay. The line of people groaned and complained at Dawn's quick entrance. Bobby told them all to shut up or else he wasn't letting anyone else in. Normally, employees entered through the back doors, but lately, people who used the back door had either been attacked or never seen again. The club blamed it on gangs, but Dawn knew they weren't gangs. But she didn't care enough to try and stop it.

Dawn entered the bar and everyone called out her name. Most of them were regulars…and drunk already. Nicky, the other bartender, just nodded towards her. Dawn got right to it and began serving drinks and what not. Although it was tiring sometimes, Dawn liked her night job. She always had interesting conversations with strangers and she got great tips. Tonight, though, the only thing anyone wanted to talk about was how much they wanted their girlfriend back or how hot Dawn looked. Plus, she only had $20 worth of tips. Usually, by this time, she had about $100. Tonight was just not the night for Dawn.

11:30. No one had been ordering for a while, so Dawn decided to have a seat on the stool behind the bar for a cigarette. Nicky had gone off to the bathroom. She looked over to a group of kids no older then 19. She had no idea how Bobby could have let them in. There was 6 of them. 5 of the kids were sitting at the table and the other kid was dancing around the table, trying to convince the others to go out on the floor with him. He reminded Dawn too much of Xander. At the table, there were two girls whispering to each other. One was blonde, the other a red head. They must have been the Buffy and Willow of the group. Dawn never realized how much she missed the scoobies until now. She was sitting at the end of the bar, zoning off, when a man from the opposite side started yelling a drink order at her. The voice had a british accent and sounded very familiar.

"Hey, luv. Get me a black Russian, extra vodka and 3 ice cubes!" _Dawn's eyes grew wide. No way. It can't be… _She turned her head slowly to see the man yelling at her. Surely enough, it was Spike. He had his head turned, a lit cigarette in mouth, not looking to see who his bartender was. Dawn stood up and slowly walked towards him. She stood in front of him for a minute without Spike even looking at her. Finally, Spike said,

"Bollocks! How long does it take to—" Spike turned his head to see the somewhat recognizable woman staring at him. The cigarette fell out of Spike's mouth. Neither of them said anything for a while. Finally, a young woman said to her,

"Excuse me? What do I have to do to get an apple martini around here?" Dawn backed away from Spike and asked the girl if she wanted anything else. While Dawn was helping the girl, Spike was having a hard time believing this was Little Bit. She was skinny, but was still filled out in the right places. She had a gorgeous tattoo on her back, which Spike was mostly in shock about. He couldn't believe that little Summers was working behind the bar and smoking, of all things. After Dawn was finished, she walked back up to Spike, his mouth wide open. Dawn didn't know what to say. She heard about him being in LA with Angel and everything, but she just never really believed he was alive. Finally, the only thing Dawn could think of was,

"So…what's up with you?" Spike scoffed.

"I haven't bleedin seen you in 8 years and all you say is 'what's up?'" Dawn crossed her arms.

"What would you like me to say then, Spike?" _Spiiikke._ _Wow. I don't think I've said that name out loud in a long time._ Spike didn't say anything. He grabbed Dawn's hand and pulled it close to him. Spike stood up and leaned in towards her.

"I missed you, pet. I've missed you all the bleedin time. So has everyone else. I just thought maybe you…maybe there would be more then a 'what's up?'" Spike held her hand tighter. The two just stared at each other. When Nicky finally came back from the bathroom, what he saw seemed like trouble.

"Yo, Dawn! This guy bothering you?" Spike let her hand go. Dawn looked over at Nicky.

"No…no, he's just an old friend is all." Dawn looked back at Spike. He was smiling at her.

"What time do you get off work tonight, pet?" Dawn stared at him blankly.

"3."

"Can I meet up with you then?" Dawn didn't say anything for a few moments.

"Yeah. Out front."

"Alright then. I'll see you then." Spike grabbed her hand again and kissed it before he walked out the door. Dawn couldn't believe what just happened. She couldn't move from her spot on the floor. Nicky looked over to her and said,

"Who was that guy? An old boyfriend or somethin?"

"Uhhh, it's kind of more complicated then that." That weird feeling Dawn was having had spread from the pit of her stomach to all over her body. She felt light headed and now she had butterflies. _If I really hated Spike, would I be having these feelings?_


	4. Chapter 4

Dawn and Nicky were sweating their asses off while preparing to close the bar and serving a million customers at the same time. Nicky kept yelling at Dawn to not leave bottles and what-not out, Dawn ignored him and even tried making a mess of things. It was only 15 minutes until close and Dawn wanted to stall for as long as possible. She just didn't feel she was quite ready to be alone with Spike. Or anyone for that matter.

Dawn had poured her last drink. 3:01 am. She was late. _Good, more stalling time._ Dawn had thought too soon. Bobby came up to Dawn and said,

"Hey, Dawn. Some guy named Spike is waiting for you. Do you want me to get rid of him?" _Impatient little brit._

"No. I told him to meet me out there." Nicky had overheard and chimed in,

"You can go ahead, Dawn. There's not much left to do anyways."

"Umm, are you sure? I don't mind staying."

"No, go on ahead." _Dammit!_

"Oh…okay then." Dawn walked slowly to her jacket. Then she went into the bathroom. Of course, it wasn't because she had to go. She looked into the mirror. Her eye makeup was a little smudged. She grabbed some toilet paper and wiped most of it off. _Now I don't look like such a whore._ Then she started getting extremely nervous and started to sweat even more then she already had. She grabbed more toilet paper and wiped her face, her neck, her chest, under her arms…basically everywhere that wasn't covered with clothing. She could hear her blood pumping through her head. The butterflies in her stomach were hyper, and she couldn't stop shaking.

Dawn looked at her watch. 3:06. _Okay, I just need to go out there and get it over with. _Dawn put on her jacket and strolled out of the club. She spotted Spike standing underneath a streetlight, surprisingly enough, smoking a cigarette. The light was glaring off his leather duster. He reminded Dawn of one of those villains in old black and white detective movies. _God he looks sex—er, scary. Oh God. I was not going to say sexy. I was not going to say sexy._ Spike looked over to the door to see his Little Bit standing and staring at him. _Jesus, I never realized what a somber look she had on her face. _Spike threw down his cigarette and walked over to her. He held out his arm and Dawn grabbed onto it. They started walking. Dawn wasn't feeling so anxious anymore. Maybe it was just the fact that she had something to hold on to.

"So, pet, where are we going?"

"My apartment. It's about a mile and a half that way, give or take." Spike just nodded his head, desperately trying to think of something to say.

"So, how long have you been working at The Blue Room?" _Nice, Spike. Next, why don't you just talk about how lovely the weather is. _

"I've been working there about 4 years. It's a good job. I usually make a lot of tips."

"Oh yeah? Was your tattoo a requirement?" Dawn looked up at Spike and cocked her eyebrow.

"Are you making fun of me, Spike?" Spike shook his head.

"Nah, Bit. You have the courage to get one. I myself am too chicken to get one. On the other hand, I would have live for an eternity with one, so it kind of puts it in a different perspective." Dawn lightly smiled. Not much was said after that. The two walked to Dawn's apartment in silence. _Okay, so I'm walking home, arm in arm, with a notorious killer vampire who tried to rape my sister. Oh yeah, I feel a lot safer on these streets of New York._

Spike and Dawn made their way to her apartment building. Before Dawn took out her keys, a man wearing all black ran up to the two with a gun pointing at them.

"Okay, give me your wallets! Now!" Spike laughed, punched the guy in the face, took his gun, hit him over the head with it, and pushed him to the ground. The man shook his head and looked up to Spike. Spike and Dawn looked at each other, looked at the man, and started laughing as they made their way into the building and up the stairs. Spike was glowing.

"God, I love muggers! I love the look on their stupid faces after an ass kickin!"

"Well, I'm glad **you** enjoy it."

"Oh, come one, you weren't in any real danger."

"I wasn't talking about just now." Spike was suddenly concerned.

"What? You were mugged before?" Dawn didn't say anything. She stopped walking and lifted her tank top to reveal a deep scar on the right side of her ribs.

"Bloody hell, who did that to you?"

"Last year, walking home from work. I gave him my money and the bastard stabbed me anyway." Spike placed his fingers over Dawn's scar and realized that Dawn looked skinny—really skinny. Her ribs were too visible and her waste was too small. As soon as Spike touched her, Dawn pulled down her shirt and started walking down the hallway. Her face grew red and she felt just as nervous as when she left the club. _Oh Jesus, here we go again_. Dawn came to her door and fiddled with her keys. She dropped them.

"Damn." She picked them up…and then she dropped them again.

"Dammit," Spike gave her a funny look, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm all out of sorts tonight."

"Is that so? Because you were fine just a minute ago." Spike walked up to Dawn, now towering over her as she found her door key.

"Y-yeah, well, I, uh, well—" Dawn finally opened her door, "Oh, look, it's my place." Dawn speed-walked over to her fridge, suddenly craving some alcohol. She opened it up and grabbed a beer. She looked over to Spike, who was still standing at her doorway.

"Spike? What are you doing?" Spike smiled at her.

"Um, I kind you need your permission, Bit."

"I don't get—Oh! Right. Vampire. Come on in, Spike." He slowly glided in and threw his duster onto Dawn's couch. Even after 8 years, Spike still had a nice and fit form. _Spike still has the bod. _Dawn took a big gulp of her beer and threw her jacket along with Spike's.

"You want something to drink?" Dawn looked at Spike, who had a big grin on his face.

"What? What's worthy of your grinning?" Spike pointed to her beer.

"Last time I saw you, it was chocolate milkshakes over beer."

"Yeah, well, that was a long time ago. I've changed." Spike walked to Dawn's fridge and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

"Well, I could see that, Bit."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spike found himself a glass and poured away.

"First of all, I cannot get over the fact that little Summers got a tattoo. Especially of a naked woman."

"Fairy."  
"Huh?"

"It's a naked fairy." Spike drank out of his glass.

"Whatever. Also, seeing you working it at a bar. Smoking cigarettes. All of the makeup…You're a lot smaller too." Dawn sat on the couch, moving the jackets to the floor.

"Smaller?" Spike walked over and sat next to her.

"Yeah, I mean, do you eat? Ever?" Dawn gave a little laugh.

"When I have the chance," Spike cocked his head, "I just work so much. I'm always working and sleeping, working and sleeping. Well, sleeping isn't the word I'm looking for. More like lying in bed at night, staring at my ceiling, wishing I could fall asleep." A brief pause. Spike rested his hand on her back. Dawn shot up from the couch.

"Wow, I, uh, need a cigarette," She grabbed one from her purse. She threw the pack to Spike, "You want?" Spike pulled one out and stuck it in his mouth.

"Thanks, pet." Dawn sat in the rocking chair sitting across from the couch. She decided it would be best to sit further away from Spike. For the next two hours, they sat there talking about what had been going on for the past 8 years. Dawn told him the story behind her tattoo, her crappy job at McDonald's, her various boyfriends and girlfriends. She left out the sex part though. She wasn't quite ready to be that open with Spike. Spike had been traveling around the country. He also told her about an organization who trained people to be slayers. He helped them with the training. He told Dawn about how sick he was of the girls swooning over him, whispering about how dreamy he was and how sexy his accent was. Dawn laughed at that.

"What's so funny?" Dawn shook her head and lit up another cigarette.

"Nothing…It's just that I was that age once and I thought the very same thing. Were you ever sick of me?"

"Never, pet. I loved being with you."

"Yeah, because you loved Buffy." Spike rolled his eyes and got up to get another drink, "Spike?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you still love her?" Spike thought to himself for a minute and sat back down, his head lowered.

"I guess so. I always will, in a way."

"But not like you used to?"

"No. I was…a bit messed up about it back then."

"So, if given the opportunity, you wouldn't, like, have sex with her, right? Or at least **try** to?" Spike's head shot up and glared at her.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"What the hell do you think that means, Spike?" There was a long silence. Finally, Dawn stood up.

"I'm going to bed. You should probably get some sleep too. The sun will be—" Spike grabbed her arm, his eyes narrowing at her. Dawn stopped. She didn't look at him and then began to shake. Spike stood up, never letting go of her arm.

"Why are you so damn afraid of me?"

"What makes you think I'm afraid of—"

"I can smell it! I've been smelling it ever since we met up outside. Why, pet?" Tears started to well up in Dawn's eyes.

"Because…because of what you did to Buffy." Spike relaxed his face. A tear rolled down Dawn's cheek.

"Because of…of what Derek did to me. Because of what eventually all men to do women." There were more tears now. Dawn was trembling. Her knees buckled. Spike caught her before she had the chance to fall and set her on the couch. Spike had his hands on her shoulders now.

"Dawn, do you think that Derek and I are…the same?" Dawn shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe…I don't know…" Dawn rested her head in her hand, "Ever since you showed, I've been really nervous and scared and confused and…and…Spike, I'm so tired. Can I just go to sleep now?" Spike looked at her for a while and then gazed at Dawn's wall.

"Yeah, go get some sleep, Dawn. I should probably get some shut eye, too." Dawn was sniffling now.

"Okay," Dawn some-what put herself together and went over to the hall closet, "There's blankets and stuff in here. Just help yourself to how many you want. I'll, uh, see you later."

"G'night, Pet."

"Good night, Spike." When Spike heard the bedroom door shut, he went over and got himself some blankets. He contemplated sleeping in his regular sleeping attire—nothing, but he figured with the situation, it was probably not a good idea. Spike hated sleeping in his regular clothes. He wished he didn't leave all of his clothes in Maine. _At least I could've put on a different shirt or something. _Meanwhile, Dawn was in bed, wondering what the hell just happened in her living room. _Don't turn into a basket case. Not now. I just wish I could go to sleep. _As if someone had granted her wish, Dawn had fallen into a deep sleep, a kind of sleep that she hadn't experienced in a very long time.


End file.
